The Girl with the Traitorous Heart
by TheGirlWithTheFictionAddiction
Summary: It was a plan, a plan I would follow, no matter what. I would love Peeta Mellark. It could save our lives and I wasn't risking anything. But my heart was. It was risking my life, my soul and my love. Stuck in an arena, killing teenagers for fun, no way out but to survive, and I want to risk it all for him, my enemy, my rival, my murderer? But can I?
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

I woke in a cold sweat, writhing and twisting in my tomb of bed sheets. I saw him again. After 20 years, he still haunts me. No, not haunts. 'Haunts' implies that he's still here and that I don't want him to be. It's the wrong word for two reasons: 1) He's not here, he hasn't been for 23 long, long years and 2) I wish he was. My name is Katniss Everdeen and I lost the only man I ever truly loved to the Hunger Games.

Peeta's snores follow me down the hall as I try to escape the guilt that gnaws at my heart. For a second I pause at Prim's doorway and peer into the darkness. I see her small body curled around a scruffy looking cat with a dirty yellow coat. He looks so much like Buttercup, but Prim? She's nothing like my sister. She has my chocolate hair and Peeta's eyes, but most of all, she looks like herself. She looks happy, without a single day of fear on her face. When she was little she placed her hands over my eyes and told me, 'mummy, don't look at the bad memories. They take you away from me'. I cried for hours, just holding her as we cried together. I remember Peeta coming home later and finding us in the same position. He sat and cried with us. I try to keep faith that she will never know the horrors I saw, ever. It doesn't work. I continue down the corridor and briefly stop to peer into Finnick's room, but he's covered himself with his blankets and isn't visible to the human eye. My kids remind me of people I lost and loved, but not of the one person I wanted to remember. My mind screams his name as I fly down the stairs and into the garden. I pause, just for a second, to consider the beautiful, living souls breathing peacefully just metres away before fleeing to the woods. After everything that happened to me, especially the 74th games, Haymitch still finds my safe place highly ironic and a source of great amusement, but as I scamper up my favourite tree, I couldn't care a less about what Haymitch thinks. Only one person matters to me in this moment. And he's dead. A silent tear streams across my cheek as I whisper his name into the darkness.

"Cato."


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

The first time I saw him was on the television. Effie had suggested we watch a recap of the other reapings and I was too stubborn to admit I was terrified of who they were. 'I'm going to kill some of these people' my mind taunted me. I'm not a killer. Not of people anyway. I kill for food, not for fun. I know most people in my position would be asking themselves 'why me?', but for me, it's different. I'm thinking, 'I made it me, so deal with it.' As I sat wedged between Effie's pink hair and Haymitch's alcoholic stench, I collapsed into myself. I couldn't concentrate on anything Caesar Flickerman was saying or even Effie's snide comments about the other tributes tasteless clothes. I just kept picturing myself hovering over some 11 year old kid holding a knife whilst he begs me for mercy, and I can't give it to him. Katniss Everdeen – Murderer. My horror throbs deep inside me as they announce the careers. I shove back my fears and focus on the screen, to focus on the District 2 mercenaries. Trake Elderpayne, District 2's escort, crosses the stage to the girl's bowl, pausing only a second before grasping a name from the top of the huge pile. He unfolds the slip of paper and grins wickedly before announcing a malicious looking girl as their tribute. Immediately, a dozen hands go up to volunteer but the girl refuses to decline her position.

"Idiot" I mutter under my breath. Effie sighs disapprovingly at my remark as Haymitch snorts. I catch Peeta with a pained grin on his face. The girl, Clove Sanguine, moves to the centre of the platform as Trake relocates to the orb holding the male names, eager to finish up and relax in the Justice Building with a drink.

He shoves his arm into the bowl and swipes a name from its depths, "And now for our District 2 male tribute," he pauses for dramatics, "Cato Silverton". This time no boys raise their arms, instead, they hold back with a sense of fear. 'Jeez' I thought, 'this kid must be bloody scary'. What I saw shocked me. Cato Silverton was every bit as intimidating as I'd feared, but there was something else, something hidden under his tough exterior that melted my fear away. He was stunning. His ragged dirty blonde hair, his chiselled bone structure, his proud body and his victorious smile. I felt a tug from somewhere deep inside me and my heart skipped a beat. I let out a little gasp of surprise. Effie mistook my reaction as one of fear. She gently patted my shoulder and smiled sympathetically. Haymitch on the other hand, having just passed out, started a grotesque bout of snores. I tried to use Effie's comforting to my advantage in front of Peeta, maintaining a scared facade to give him a sense of weakness but he doesn't buy it, and when I look over at him, I see he's questioning my outburst. 'Why would I only be afraid of Cato?' But he doesn't have a chance to ask, for as soon as the broadcast's over, I run to my room and slam the door behind me.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

I hated her. The moment I saw her being reaped I knew. Primrose Everdeen. She wouldn't last, not for more than a second. She was too easy a target. This is a game, not a charity. They were all going to die anyway; I would kill them. But to take the fun out of it? That was not on. I vowed to myself she would die first, and, and then something happened. The camera filming District 12's reaping was juggled to get the new shot. The shot of a girl, leaping from the crowds to volunteer.

"That's more like it," I muttered to myself, Clove spat out a laugh from her perch on the back of the couch. Our escort and mentor, Trake Elderpayne, smirks and draws another skull on a piece of paper. He's counting our prey, anyone who looks weak and good in a coffin, one skull for each death to come. So far out of 24, there are 22 skulls. One left for the District 2 champion, me, and for the last District 12 tribute. The girl sent Primrose back to her mother, kicking and screaming, being carried by a friend. Effie Trinket does her job as escort and escorts the girl onto the District's platform. I notice Trake's eyes focusing on the pink haired floozy. Rumour has it; he had a fling with her one year and fell for her. She, on the other hand, did not fall for him. What an idiot! Love is for fools. Love is weakness.

"What's your name?" Effie asks the girl. They zoom into her, as she lifts her face to answer.

"Katniss Everdeen." My heart stopped. She was beautiful! Not in the way most District 1 and 2 girls were. No, they were all fake, ugly in their attempt of beauty, but her? She just was. In a completely pure example of beauty, there she stood. Katniss Everdeen. And her eyes were honest: full of care and kindness, supported by a fierce protection. I felt something in my chest, a fire growing deep in my heart. I'd heard something like described before. I looked at Trake. Was this what he felt when he saw Effie? No. How dare she? This girl who I'd never even met, making me feel _love._ I was getting angry now. My fists clenched and my whole body stiffened.

"Hey, Trake," Clove said, "I think Cato's found his first target!"

Trake clapped me on the back, "Just try to enjoy it. Savour the moment." He winked at me and went back to finishing the last skull on the page for someone called Peeta Mellark or something. I wasn't listening. Her face loomed in front of my eyes. For the first time, I felt sick at the idea of murdering someone. As the reaping finished and Caesar Flickerman's face appeared on the screen, I leapt up and ran to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me, I rushed to the sink. What was happening to me? I gripped the side of the sink, and it broke in my grip. I threw the chipped pieces in the bin and ran some cold water. I threw it in my face and looked into the mirror. I looked at the face of someone who looked like me but wasn't. He looked vulnerable. Something I had not been since I could crawl. Someone knocked on the door. It was Clove.

"Cato? Are you all right?" her voice sounded bored rather than concerned.

"I'm fine!" I roared at her "Go away!" She did, complaining loudly about not getting enough respect for a future champion.

I stayed in the bathroom for a while, waiting to hear the sounds of everyone going to sleep. I look at the clock on the wall, its 20 minutes to midnight. I quietly creep from the bathroom, my sanctuary after such a shocking revelation. I force myself to go back to the lounge area and switch on the TV. I scroll through the individual tributes until I find her. My breath catches again. I look away and see that Trake had left his skull list on the sofa cushion. I pick it up and, stealing another glance at Katniss Everdeen, I rub out one of the little laughing skulls. This year, I tell myself, there will be two victors: me, and her.


End file.
